They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
