Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
