Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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