On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
