Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
two words...techno handjob
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
