Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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