An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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