Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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