plz talk dirty to me
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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