I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
