I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
