she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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