I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
