no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The beer is more important than you right now.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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