Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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