we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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