Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
