Are we in a gay sports bar?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize