every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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