Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
