I think im going to throw up on grandma
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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