yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
