Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i think i have herpe
just one?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
