I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I can't put those talents on a resume
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
