I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
