walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Someone shattered a urinal.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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