I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
