She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
