I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
