he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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