We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
