So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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