I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
