hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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