3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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