his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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