...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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