I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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