Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Boobs speak an international language.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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