So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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