Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
