Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
