It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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