Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
