Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
