Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
