So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
