I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize