this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
