the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
