Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
