We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
