Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
