Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
