Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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