I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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