Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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