You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
All I want is dick and wine.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
