i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
